Deep Thoughts
by SexyRebel
Summary: Spike reminises about his life in Sunnydale and his relationship with Buffy...


Deep Thoughts

Shippage Factor:  Buffy and Spike

Setting:  Post "Wrecked"

Copyright:  All characters belong to Fox, blah blah blah….I only own the story.

Rating:  PG-13 (sexual reference, language and mild violence)

Theme:  Spike thinks about his life in Sunnydale…

Deep Thoughts 

As Spike sat alone in his crypt, he contemplated the previous nights events.  "Why the hell did that witch take the Little Bit to _Rack_?  Is she crazy?  The stupid bint could've gotten her killed.  Big sis wouldn't have liked that."  He pondered over what was likely to happen to Willow.  She had acted quite irresponsibly and it would take a while to gain Buffy's trust again.  He knew that from experience.  You kill a couple thousand people, and folks are wary about you that way.  He was way to restless to sit at home in his crypt so he decided to take a walk and check up on the Summers residence.

As Spike walked through the cold, silent streets of Sunnydale, he thought back to the night his love…Buffy had died.  He never dared to say anything to the rest of the Scoobies but that night, something inside him died too.  He had spent the days lying in his crypt avoiding getting up or doing anything.  Everything he ate came back up.  He actually came very close to walking out into the sunlight and burning up.  One thing kept him going.  A promise.  A promise he had made to a lady.  He had promised to watch over Dawn, protect her, until the end of the world.  And he planned on it.  She came to be like his daughter, in a way.  She was his little bit.  And then one night, everything just fell apart.  Hellions came into Sunnyhell.  Dawn saw the Buffy-bot, ripped to shreds by the demon bikers and ran away, and the rest of the Scooby gang was nowhere to be found.  He had no idea what to do.  If anything happened to Dawn, he would die, kill himself, and get it over with.  That was his only purpose, to protect her, and if he couldn't even do that, then he didn't deserve this existence.  He searched everywhere for her, and finally fled back to the Summer's house.  Dawn was there.

And so was she.

Alive.

Alive.

Alive.

That was all Spike could think.  He didn't care how or …she was alive, and so was he.  He was alive.  Buffy.  Buffy.  And then came the question.  

How?  

It was Red and her little army of moppets.  They had cast a spell that had sent her back to Earth from wherever she was.  "Magik always has consequences!" Spike had told them, but had they listened.  Never, not the high and mighty Scooby gang.  It wasn't too much longer, when he was lurking in the shadows outside the Magic Box that Buffy came outside, looking like she had just had her heart broken.  Turns out, she had.  She told me that she had not been in hell.  Quite the contrary actually.  She had been in Heaven.  And they had ripped her out of this eternal bliss.  "They can never know, " she had said.  Spike thought it was probably not her idea to sing it to them a few weeks later (Nor was it her idea to end up kissing him, but he had no objections).  The look on Red's face.  It was priceless.  Spike usually didn't go by rules, it was actually a rule that he lived by to break them.  But it was obvious that Willow was getting in too deep.  It was just a matter of time before all hell broke loose.  

And then, it did.  

He was Randy Giles, and everyone else was who they thought they might have been after Red had cast a spell that had accidentally erased all their memories.  After that little incident was over, Willow's girlfriend left her, Giles went back to England, and he and Buffy were once again locked in a each other arms, giving into the passion that was driving them mad.  This charade kept on and on for a while but they both knew that they too were delving into something they shouldn't.  Spike didn't understand why she thought it was so bad, when it felt so good.  But then it all came crashing down.

Literally.

Spike hit Buffy.  He knew that the chip was going to pull a finger-in-light-socket on his head, but he couldn't take her bitchiness anymore.  As he went to brace himself for the pain of the chip, he realized something…it never came.  "She's not human!" he thought.  He presented her with this option but she wasn't crazy about it.  As they argued, Spike realized what was coming.  Buffy was coming at his lips.  As they passionately explored each other, the whole structure they were in came crashing down.  Did that stop them?  Not in the least.  They awoke and blah blah blah, and then here she came again.  "Spike, Dawn's missing!"  "Must be Tuesday," he thought.  But when Buffy mentioned Rack, Spike went into combat mode.  They finally found her in the bad part of Sunnydale.  Spike went to grab her and ask her what the hell she was thinking.  That was when he saw the demon.  It had thrown her across the room and one look at her arm told him it was hurt badly.  She needed hospital treatment.  He took care of the little bit while Buffy faced down the demon.  She was about to kick some serious ass when the demon just stopped and disintegrated.  "Must be expired," thought Spike.  And that was when he saw a sight much worse than the demon.  The Slayers best friend.  Put simply, she did not look like a cup of tea.  Then it all clicked.  Red was the one who got Dawn, _his_ Dawn, hurt.  If it wasn't for that damned chip, Spike would've ripped her apart right there.  She began to cry, but Spike had no pity, and neither did they Slayer nor her sister.  So Dawn just had a fractured arm, and Buffy had taken her home.  Spike had heard no word since last night so he was quite curious about what was going on with that whole situation.  

So he found himself standing in front of 1630 Revello Drive.  He approached the front door when he detected a strong familiar scent in the air.

Garlic.

He saw several crosses around the entrance to the house and assumed that the wafting of the garlic scent was originating in Buffy's bedroom.  She was very confused about their relationship and so was he.  Hell, one day they didn't have one and then it was sex.  Spike was hurt.  He would never let her see it, but he was.  He was in love with Buffy Anne Summers, and he didn't know what was going on.  Everything was just so insane.  As he walked back to his crypt, he reflected on the first time he had met Buffy.  They had been mortal enemies and now he was a slave to her.  He would do anything for her.  But she detested him.  But she wanted him.  He didn't know what was in store for him in the future but he knew deep down that it included Buffy.

He reached his crypt and took one last look into the clear California skies.  He saw the stars, the beautiful stars.  He had seen many horrible things that would make those stars run and hide.  But in his life, he had encountered one thing, **one** thing, which would make those stars pale in comparison.  

"Goodnight Buffy Summers," he said softly as he held back the tears and walked into his home.

The End


End file.
